Give Me a Break !!!

Give Me a Break

After having irate customers since you started your shift, don’t you wish you’re just the automated IVR stating this one? Hahahahaha

Lock Then Leave

Our IT department in the company would always remind us to lock your computer if you want to leave it for a while or shut it down when you’re going home already. Privacy is a big concern in and out of the company. Even if in our department we know what files might be there in each of our computer, it is still important to keep it safe from any intruder.

For instance, my colleague says that she will just go to the sleeping quarters and will take a sleep instead of having lunch. Unfortunately for her, she left her pc unlocked. My boss had to use her computer because one of the websites where we need to see a data is not running on his. But jeez!!! What pops out on the screen was the gross picture of her having “intimate” moments with two other girls on a secluded room. Wow — they could even pose for FHM! Of course, we all have our own skeletons in the closet, but that one was a blast. And we just decided to kept to ourselves what we’ve seen since the girl is one of our most prized worker in that department.

Now, that’s the serious reason behind locking your stations before leaving it.

Years ago, I remember that in our company, the IT department would still use it as a reminder on our screensaver so my friend thought of something. When one of our colleagues left and he did not lock his pc, he used it and created the email. The time we received it, here is what it said:

“It’s the year of the chicken and I love chicken joy”

He actually “send it to all” and we all shared a good laugh at it!

Q&A Portion

At times, I feel and think that the questions we usually asked as an initial information to our customers are personal that is why they are answering in a funny but sometimes strange way:

#1:

Agent: Who am I speaking with?

Customer: I am [name of the customer] the son [of the primary account holder] and the “computer wizard”

Agent: [thinking that you don't need my help then by calling the technical support...]

#2:

Agent: And how are you related to the primary account holder?

Customer: I am just having sex with her 5 days a week — how about that?

Agent: [err --- that's too much for an information ... ]

#3:

Agent is using the Remote Assistance sharing tool to help better the customer in solving her issue. This tool is used so that we can move the mouse for the customer and navigate through his/her computer …

Agent: Is this the email that you are having difficulty replying to?

Customer: Yes. But you are not allowed to read the content of it. Just look at the email address of my friend …

Agent: Don’t worry, I am not even looking at it.

Customer: Oh good!

#4:

Agent: And how are you related to the primary account holder?

Customer: Well… that person there on your record is the husband of my mom but he is not my father. So basically, he is my stepdad but I don’t like him that much. I miss my dad, you know.

Agent:[so much for your personal life ...] Thank you for that information. So how can i help you today?

#5:

Agent: We will need to dispatch a technician to your house. so for the security of our technician, we need to know if you have any pets in the house that could harm them?

Customer: Oh yeah [sound so very happy!] I have a lot of pets. I have 5 dogs and their name are blah-blah-blah and oh jeez they are soooooo cute and cuddly. Also, I have this very cute Persian cat who really loves to play with our 2 monkeys here. Oh when you see them — you’ll gonna love them. do you want to see their pictures?

Agent: Oh—-kay.

 

Number 1 Rule: Don’t Fight Back

They say that fighting back is being coward but not fighting back is the true sign of cowardice. I realize it is true in call center. Since your customers is your main source of income, whatever they say , will always be correct and don’t fight back.

For example:

Agent: Please pull up an Internet Explorer

Customer: I don’t have Internet Explorer but I have a blue Internet Explorer.

Agent: [Aahh...wondering why and what]

 

Another example:

Agent: Please turn off your modem, router and computer.

Customer: Ok

Agent: Just tell me if all of your devices are turned off

Customer: Ok…you just said computer

Agent: [doing some yoga breathing already... ] Well… anyways, you can turn the modem and router off now

 

And another example….

Agent: So you’re having a password issue. Are we talking about your email password, wireless connection password, or the password on the computer when you first boot it up?

Customer: On my computer

Agent:As your internet service provider, we only have control on your email and wireless connection password but not on your computer’s password per se.

Customer: Yeah exactly. I can’t sign in. When I go to my website on the computer, I can’t sign in.

Agent: Oh ok [now i have a better understanding -- i hope so].  So which website are you trying to sign in?

Customer: [raising his voice now] Oh now, you’re invading my privacy! You are now asking which website I am going to!

Agent: [started doing some yoga breathing again] we’re just trying to isolate which website are you trying to sign in because you maybe accessing a different website where your email logins don’t work. So if you’re using a _____ account, you must be in the ______ website. So which website were yare ou trying to sign in?

Customer: I wont tell you which website it is.

Agent:[Duh! So ... how can i help you again?] Ok, Mr. _____

 

In this scenarios, don’t fight back, of course. I just tell myself, one of the hardest thing to communicate is when you cannot see the other person and just hearing what he / she has to say. And i am such a very coward person.

For Real or Alibi?

In our company, we had a nice way of tracking why you were not able to report for work. All you need to do is call a number, give all of your employee information and the reason why you are going to be late or absent from work.

I usually have my migraine. It is kind of severe. When it usually “attacks” my visions are so blurred and my head aches really bad. But one day, I had a really nice laugh when I see the reasons why some of them will be late/absent from work. Now these ones are the reasons that got me thinking so far:

1. Fell down from the stairs
2. had to change clothes. Got dirty when a scavenger’s truck passed by and some of the trashes were thrown at me
3. Had to bring my kid at school or he will be late. Ill be late for an hour [blood is thicker than work --- ]
4. my alarm clock did not ring. Ill be late for an hour [alarm clock fell asleep?]
5. Got soaked in the rain. Need to change clothes [another version of #2]
6. Dysmenorrhea [now this one i noticed that has been entered thrice in a month for the same reason. This one really needs a doctor]
7. Fever [this one agent has been calling for fever for three months in a row]
8. No one is going to take care of the house.
9. Traffic. I’ll be reporting the rest half of the day. [Half day late? Where are you coming from, anyway?!?]
10. I’ll be late. Shoe is broken. Had to replace it.
11. Left my office ID. Had to go back home.
12. The worst part is I was listed as the one who is absent for that day when in fact I was in the office the whole day. Jeez!!!

Phonetics 101

Me talking to a customer who has always wants to spell out all the website we want to go to.

ME: Please go to abc.com [I put the phone to mute after one hour of
troubleshooting, we can now connect to the internet because I am already tired, exhausted and sleepy]
CUSTOMER: Can you please spell that to me?
ME: Oh sure. A as in apple, B as in cat and C as in boy
CUSTOMER: Oh I am confused. I got the A but the next letters, B as in cat and C as in boy?
ME: [Ooppss...] Let me repeat that, Sir. A as in apple, B as in boy and C as in Cat
CUSTOMER: Ok — that’s better. I think my hearing is failing me again
And I just laughed with my customer…

Hot Male

Me talking to my customer who was a very funny man but I am too sleepy to notice that.

ME: Please try to go to the website hotmail.com
CUSTOMER: Oh how do you spell that
ME: H as in Harry O as in Oscar T as in Thomas
CUSTOMER: OK
ME: [Continue to spell the word mindlessly] M as i Mary A as in Apple L as in Larry and E as in Edward
CUSTOMER: [Reading the whole website we just spelled out] Hotmale? I hope you are referring to me,honey!
ME: [Oops....]